God made Himself quite visible and as real as you and me when He was on the earth in the form of a real human body Jesus Christ. He manifested all the attributes of God and His own did not recognize nor want to believe that He was God. He could have done nothing more to make them believe. They asked for miracles and miracles indeed He did do. He spoke words that could not have come from none other than God. One Pharisee said as much when Jesus told him you must be born again. It is not for us to question the why's of what He does or does not say, but to simply believe. If we have a problem with that, then we are disobedient. The wind goes to and fro, we do not see it but we believe. He did far more to make Himself known, not only when He was with us in human form, but in His creation. It is only a fool who sees the creation who questions that God is not when we simply have creation to look at. Read the book of Job who like you questioned God. God said where were you Job when I......... We are not given the answers to all things for in our simple minds we as He said could not understand all He could tell us. He said as much when another spoke with Him and He said something to the effect that how can you understand things from heaven when you cannot understand the things of the earth. Perhaps you should be searching yourself and come to a conclusion whether you really believe there is a God. For if you cannot believe there really is a God, how can you trust Him to help you in recovery. I would pray and hope that you truly do believe and stop looking for questions that matter not to our human understanding but instead search for Him in your heart and allow Him to do what He wants to do for you and that is to make you whole and complete and bring you to a completing into His eternity some day soon.
Just a Passing Thought...
Just a passing thought.
More often than not, when we as Christians and also largely non believers, come to the end of our rope, when we can take no more, when we can se no end in sight, then we and they call upon God.
Scripture is full of the many whom tried to go it all on their own without God. He allowed them all to try it on their own, only to come to failure. Then when they finally gave up, they turned to God and He blessed them.
Isn't it interesting that professed atheists whom deny even the very existence of God, will on the death bed cry unto God!
We Are All Without Excuse
Scripture tells us in Romans Chpt 2, that we are all without excuse. Because God has made Himself manifest, knowable, that He does exist through so many ways, which are listed in this passage. I am not sure where offhand, but I think, also in scripture there is a passage which refers to our souls, which also know deep down of the existence of God, that when we disown Him, when we deny Him, there exists a void in our lives, which, He is forever trying to fill by knocking on our hearts door. That, is why I think that non-believers call out to Him when the floor is completely pulled out from under us, and there is absolutely nowhere else to go short of suicide.
No matter what our situation, there is always an answer in Jesus Christ. There is no other final solution by which we may be saved, by which our deepest concerns and situations can be fixed, but by and through Jesus Christ.
There is no sin which we cannot be saved from except the denial of the work on the cross by Jesus Christ whom died on the cross to save us from our sins.