The Words Within

Jesus is Alive!

My Testimony


I was born in the normal way on Sept. 11, 1952. Both my parents were born in Quebec Canada. One was born and raised in Trois Riviers, the other in Shawinigan Quebec. I was born and raised in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada.
 
I have very little memory of my early childhood. One thing I do recall was that the first house we lived in, where I was born, was a tiny two bedroom house. I was kid # 6 in a family of eight kids. When my little sister was born, I remember that she slept in the top drawer of a dresser.

Another memory was standing in the back yard one day looking down the valley and watching a train crossing the train trestle. I recall wondering;  "Where is that train going?." I would have been perhaps about three at the time. Being that young, one has no perception of what is beyond your immediate neighborhood, let alone what is beyond that. But there was always that aching in my heart wanting to know what is out there? What is at the end of those train tracks.

After my little sister was born, we moved into a bigger house, not really big enough, but we managed somehow. Behind one corner of the house there was another set of railway tracks. And again, I wondered often, "Where does that go?" It's a wonder the house still stands with all that shake rattling and rolling going on.

My parents made us little kids play on the far side of the track where they could keep an eye on us easily out of one of the windows. I can remember playing on top of a stack of tracks laid off to the side. These tracks became our water raft, a boat, a pirate ship and whatever other imaginations a little child's mind can conjure up. Still though, there was always that far away question in the back of my mind, wondering;  "Where do those train tracks go? What's out there?

I knew for sure that two blocks past our house, the tracks split off in two directions. One part went to the General Motors plant where they made car parts. My dad worked in there somewhere. The other section went towards Port Dalousie on Lake Ontario, where we spent many hours picnicking, playing and swimming. But there was still more train tracks going else where in different parts of the city, and I was always wondering, where do they go, what is out there?

School for me was the most boring part of my life. I hated it. I wanted to be outside doing anything but being in school. I would day dream often in school, looking out the window wondering what is out there beyond the city limits, what is out there across the country?

Well, somehow I managed to get through school, barely graduating out of high school. Now my time had come to go and see for myself, what is out there.

It was not very long after finishing school, that I stuck out my thumb and hitchhiked across Canada several times and eventually stopped for several years in the Okanagan Valley in British Columbia working in the fruit orchards, doing everything from picking the fruit to pruning the trees and thinning, etc. Orchard workers, like carnival workers, have a reputation for working hard and partying even harder after the days end. Drugs and booze was plentiful, and I indulged in most everything that was available.

At one point in time, I met a Lebanese man and his wife who were Christians. They began witnessing to me, but it would be a few years more before I was added to God's family. They gave me a Gideons King James 1611 version of the Bible which I kept. It made for interesting reading as the edges of the pages were slightly glued together with candle wax.

In Nov. 1984 I gave my life to Christ, and accepted His free gift of salvation. Sadly for me my feet were still restless and I kept moving around lots more and with that some of my sinful habits followed along with me. After being on a drinking binge for a while, one night I was hit with the reality that I was indeed a drunk. I was drunk one night,and I believe that Satan and his minions had their talons embedded in my head coaxing me and telling me that I was a no good for nothing drunk.. I was useless and a memory from days long gone resurfaced with my mother telling me I would never amount to nothing. With these feelings of uselessness, I decided that I was indeed of no worth to nothing, so I might as well kill myself.

With that thought in mind I set out to drive my van into the path of a tractor trailer truck, with no thoughts or concern for the truck driver or his family. I soon saw a truck and began to steer towards it. A few seconds before hitting the truck, a voice as clear as the babbling waters of a brook spoke to me saying; "I love you." Those were foreign words to me. I had never heard those words at home or from anyone else for that matter. I knew immediately that it was Jesus talking to me. I pulled off to the side of the highway to a spot where I was well off the highway beside the Okanagan Lake. I cried like a baby for several minutes. How I had longed all my life to hear those words; "I love you". I spent some time in prayer and then crawled into the back of my van and slept for a few hours.

When I awoke, I knew that my life was about to take a dramatic change. I decided that I would find a good church first of all, far away from where I had been staying and get some grounding in the Word of God. I did that and eventually decided to go to a Bible College and get even more grounded. This I did in a small Bible College in Northern Ontario. While in college I began teaching Sunday School to various age groups at the Bible College's Chapel and dorm. I was also involved in preaching on a rotational bases on Sunday evenings.

A few years later I worked in a volunteer capacity at a home for troubled youth for two years. My main job there was to be like a foreman leading the boys and teaching them physical work skills. I also was involved in teaching from the Bible.

Several years later, and a few moves later, I found myself living where I am now in a little town tucked away in the bush on 200 acres of land. Before this I had become involved in an online ministry working with men with private issues, of which I am still involved in. Part of my work in there is to minister to their spiritual needs as well as encouraging them with advice to help them live more like our Savior. I do a lot of that by writing articles which help to uplift them and teach them spiritual lessons, on how to live a Godly life.

A co-worker in this ministry has been encouraging me to write a book. I really did not have the desire to do that. But recently he suggested that I compile my many articles onto my own home page where many more people could read them and also be encouraged and uplifted. After a little time in prayer and thought, I decided that perhaps this was a calling of God for me to reach more people with the Gospel Of Christ and to help others in some manner or other. Some of these many articles are actually sermons I preached over the years. At this time the book as such and web page are in progress and will likely stay in progress till the Lord takes me home.

God had a plan for that little boy who was staring at the train as it crossed the train trestle so many years ago. That little boy had no idea that eventually he would really see what was out there, and that he would eventually see where the train tracks of life would lead to.

That little boy had no idea that God was the engineer of his life directing his paths to places far and wide and eventually lead him to the ends of eternity.
 
God has control of my life now, and I don't plan on ever getting off of His train.
 
andre




The Church I attend:


Thessalon Bible Chapel
11 Huron West
Thessalon, ON P0R 1L0
Phone: (705) 842-1888

Canada

http://www.thessalonbiblechapel.org/



Being Single

God has granted some of us to be single and others not. But even if one is single, it is not a life time sentence of being lonely. I have never married, and true at times I do feel lonely, but that is because sometimes I choose to be alone and not seek out fellowship with others. But for the most part I keep busy in helping others or just doing stuff with others. If you separate yourselves from others, of course you will feel lonely, because my bet is you are also not drawing near to God neither when you are alone. Christ is but a breath away. There is no reason that any should be lonely if He is that close.

Brick Walls (A Reply to an Email from an Online Group Member)


I can fully appreciate what you are saying. I have in the past built up a huge brick wall around myself so that I will not get hurt. But the sad thing of that is that you in the long run only hurt yourself. It becomes a very lonely world out there by yourself. Yes there are many who will turn their backs on you. Well, frankly, if they do, they likely were not real friends after all. You need to tear down that brick wall and let people back close to yourself. There will always be those who will hurt us, but there is also them who will stand by you no matter what. Jesus for certain will never leave nor forsake you. And neither will I, not others in this group.
 
Also, as hard as it can be, you also need to learn the art of forgiving. (...) If you cannot forgive them whom have hurt you, Jesus said neither will God. Look what Christ endured for us by way of the cross. Yet He still forgave.
 
I suggest you begin  new seeking guys to be friends with in the Christian community. Easier said than done perhaps, but as when you first started to walk, you fell, but kept trying.
 
Here is a huge hug for you.

Andre






Hurts

Now and again a spark from some unknown or known source starts a fire, and something within that fire causes energy and movement to move one to tell a story. Tonight I watched an old movie which was somewhat of a spark, that lit a fire within me to share just a bit more of my past, which leads me to believe that, the past shaped my present life. The past shaped my likes, my dislikes, my morals, my loves, my friends, how I walk, how I carry myself. The past shaped my moods. These moods include anger, caring, gentleness, sadness, laughter etc. Okay, some of these things are not listed in a psychologists book as being moods. Yes to me they are moods, for they paint colourful images of my emotions. After all, are not our emotions a shadow of our moods?

Tonight while watching this movie, I was reminded of past events which shaped my moods, my emotions. Like many, the negative emotions raised by events of the past are suppressed. They are suppressed because these kinds of things are measured in pain which we wish to forget.

I recalled tonight how when I was maybe a young boy of around 4 or so when my mother in anger was literally jumping up and down on me with as much power as she could to kill me. This included being literally thrown across the room into the wall. And then, more being danced upon like a straw puppet, with no care that I should live. Perhaps I should have died to spare me the pain that I feel in the future.

Another pain reborn from my past memory was hearing many times how I would never amount to anything., I was continually told how stupid I was, how useless I was. My older brothers treated me like a Cinderella. I was no good. I was like the lowest of the cast of the East Indian dung hill. I heard many times over and over again; “You don’t rate.” Meaning, I was not worthy to be treated with anything better than a worm. I did not deserve the scraps from the table. Though we did not own a dog, I was always felt to be made lower than a dog.

Yes, these are all lies born of the serpent, our enemy, the devil. Yet, when one hears a lie over and over and over and over again so many times, the lie becomes a reality. That reality was born into my mind that I am stupid, useless, not worthy of the scraps from the table.

I have anger problems for obvious good reasons as you see from above. I wonder that my anger never gravitated towards beating up on others, or shooting or anything that would greatly hurt others, especially members of my own family. Did God hold me back? Perhaps!

I suppose I can see how I always was drawn towards the underdog, to saddle up beside them and be there to stand up for them.
(...)

Even girls in my younger days shunned me, so that it also imposed upon me a desire to deflect them away from me as a disease, something not wanted, because it caused so much pain.

I spoke of anger earlier. I rarely get angry with others. But I get very angry at myself often, even still to this day. This anger erupts into a violent anger. Why ? I believe it all boils down to my early years as a child being told I was no good, useless etc. I was a failure. So today when I do things with my hands and it is not working out right, I explode in anger I suppose because I see myself as useless, no good and will not amount to anything. I try hard to do my best, yet when I fail, my best is a failure due to be cast down into the dung hill. And thus my anger is routed back to my childhood where I am being told I am no good and I see my mother trying to kill me.

So, why should I bother to share this? When we share our past hurts and see how God can work in our lives to correct the wrongs of the past, it helps others to see “Hey, I am not alone. Others have gone through what I have, am going through. And yet see how God is watching over and changing that one’s life.”

He does not do it just because of my past hurts, but because He loves us so much that He sent His one and only Son, Jesus to die on the cross to take the penalty for our sins and to give us eternal life. John 3:16 paraphrased. He does it, because He also suffered much as we have and worse and He knows our pains. He loves us more than we can imagine.

We have a promise which we can believe and hold to. One day soon, Jesus is coming and He will take us home to be with Him and live eternally in a perfect environment where there will be no more suffering and pain, no more sorrows, where every tear will be dried, where upside down smiles will be turned to right side up smiles. We shall walk on streets of gold and we will hunger no more for a perfect home family.

Though we suffer for a little while, we shall suffer no more. Look forward and ahead and up, for our redemption is near.
God bless and smile upon your brothers today.
 
André

 

Copyright

The firework-animation is copyrighted. Here is the homepage: http://whytehouse.com/index.asp (Christopher J. Whyte)